Staging a Kick Ass Resignation
When resigning from work with dignity or a resignation with your tail between your legs is not an option you would like to take, then you might as well stage your kick ass resignation with a bang. When your career and employment are on an ugly downward spiral with no redemption in sight and you have nothing to lose, you might as well make it memorable for all parties, something that might become the office legend and an anecdote to tell to your grandchildren.
But before you begin your unending coffee break, take time to plan out your moves.
Tell your horrible boss a donkey is a better ass than he is. But before you tell the boss, you must tell the whole world first. Tweet it, Facebook it or pay for an advertisement space in the newspaper he loves to read. And then tell it to him. Write it on the office wall with that whiteboard marker he loves to underline the word “Sales” with, or on his beloved BMW. Just a word of caution though, damage to property can cost you tons of money not just in repairs, but in legal fees as well. But if you think you can’t do something permanent, (hey, you’d be out of work and now is not the time to be wasting money on repairs and lawyers) then you could get a bit creative with a banner hung outside the office building (the bigger the better). Practice what you intend to say. Never blabber.
The resignation letter. A kick ass exit would not be complete without a kick ass letter of resignation. The words should make him see red, a revenge for blaming you for the red figures in the income statement.
Adequate notice. A couple of minutes will be perfect. More will peter out the fire. So make each second left in your employment count. Use all the strategic planning skills your boss has been hammering you with.
Be prepared to face a fight and flee before it happens. He might go for a lunge, or order somebody else, so be prepared. Read up law books on instigating fights and causing injuries. Getting violent is not really what you want, you just want your boss to miss you, right? So suck in the desire to kick and punch.
Remember to plan ahead. Short term and long term planning is useful in real life too. Be sure you have already removed all your personal belongings in the office. It shatters the kick ass effect if you have to exit with your beloved potted plant.
Walk out with your chin up high and your chest out. Make it look like you have made the best decision of your life, even if you know you have to call mommy and ask her to send you an allowance again.
Thanks for reading this coffee break tidbit on work 
Office Blabber - tidbits on the office, work, career and employment
